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August 25, 2005

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We've been in book-land for the past few weeks, but a recent New York Times article (about men getting post-traumatic stress from too much information in the birthing room) wrenched us away from the grindstone. Basically, the guy suggests that male participation in birth, or more specifically, access to the image of his wife being split open in one way or another, is potentially damaging to the male psyche, or maybe just the male hard-on. We've heard about this phenomenon, but not first-hand. We really want to know...if you're a parent reading this: did your sex life take a lasting hit from too much birth/body info? Why do you think there was/is so much weirdness? Is it better to go back to the daddy pacing in the hall, oblivious to the reality of the "bloody show"?

by thenewmoms at 9:37 PM
in birth | sex


Nope, didn't harm us a bit.

comment by Kristina at August 26, 2005 2:24 PM

I feel like all this has to do with the idea that some men (and even women) can't deal with the vagina at all. Ever. Even in it's pristine pre-birth state. It's so weird. My husband and I were both amazed by what my body could do. We waited a while before getting back to our sexual relationship not because we were traumatized but because I needed time to do my mother thing -- birth, bleed, heal, breastfeed. It's really not that long! And if you give yourselves time to let a woman's body be ALL THAT IT CAN BE (functional and pleasuable) then there's no conflict. Right?

comment by Jen at August 27, 2005 11:16 AM

I witnessed the births of all three of my children. Even held my first son's placenta and cut my daughter's umbilical cord. Thinking back, I do recall moving further towards my wife's head with each birth. For a while after my first son was born it was hard to get the image out of my head. I think I saw my wife's private parts as more medical than sexual for a bit. The same with her breasts. I thought of them as "belonging" to my children instead of a sexual turn-on.

I wonder if that is just some kind of built-in human response that allows a new mom to heal and concentrate on the care of her child?

comment by Greg at April 4, 2009 6:42 PM

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