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December 27, 2005

man boobs and boob jobs

Some celebrity, perhaps but not necessarily Tom Cruise, is extolling the virtues of male breastfeeding, saying he hopes to nurse his baby himself. It seems uncharactersitically progressive of Tom to give this option a whirl— maybe it's a little known part of the Scientologist doctrine? He would not be the only man to experiment with lacation. This hotty (with a conveniently hair-free chest) produced milk through the power of positive thinking. More on nursing fathers over at "the center for unhindered living."

Will the celebrity milk man have to worry about droopy man boobs? Fellow famous über-parent Gwyneth Paltrow has a solution: "reconstructive" breast surgery. Does this mean a tummy tuck and labia shaping qualify as repairing the damage from childbearing? What about botox to erase the stress of child-rearing? Isn't all plastic surgery reconstruction from the wear and tear of... life?

Posted by thenewmoms at 4:42 PM | Comments (2)

December 26, 2005

French Women Don't Do Gravity

Having observed a lot of scantily clad French women recently, I found, not surprisingly, a large proportion of skinny, non-surgically altered bodies. But also, a large subgroup of those women had completely flat chests, like prepubescent. Slinking along bralessly, often with several kids in tow.

Knowing that France has the lowest breastfeeding rate in what amounts to the measurable world, this raises a question: What if the idea of tit expansion (and subsequent sagging) being the result of pregnancy rather than breastfeeding is actually lactivist propaganda? Otherwise, what gives? Do all the flatchested American girls just get balloons implanted, so we have no examples of these gravity immune physiques?

Posted by thenewmoms at 10:52 AM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2005

clicking on guys

This is one of those things that might actually appeal to anyone "from 1-100." Click on the guys and see what they do. Also, check out Calculator while you're at it.

Posted by thenewmoms at 9:54 AM | Comments (0)

December 14, 2005

Britney is Risen

Britney is sooooo not a slut! She's so not a slut that she's the Virgin Mary. And Baby Sean Preston is Baby Jesus. Well, that's one way to get Federline out of the picture.

In a related story, a friend was invited to a Christmas party where guests were asked to come as their favorite character from the Natvity Scene--he decided to go as Baby Jesus' meconium.

Posted by thenewmoms at 9:23 AM | Comments (0)

December 13, 2005

coming soon...spa epidurals?

Aha! the brazillian wax serves an evolutionary function (besides making women look porny enough to drop trou with pride.) It prepares women for the pain of childbirth! Maybe if you had really really bad cramps while getting waxed...and swallowed a bowling ball.

Posted by thenewmoms at 10:24 AM | Comments (0)

December 6, 2005


Ricky Gervais (The Office/Extras) in his hilarious podcast discusses some new ideas about how to handle the population problem... through innovations in the way babies, well, uh, come to life.

Posted by thenewmoms at 10:16 PM | Comments (0)

December 1, 2005

backlash cool or same old-school?

This week's Observer features an article by a super educated "in the know" pregnant writer describing her decision to bottle feed once her baby is born.

She's pretty articulate about her reasons, too...pretty much the usual ones: wants her body and time back, wants to get some sleep, thinks the whole thing's a little icky. But her justifications do tend to bristle with images of endlessly and hopelessly sacrificial breastfeeding women-- like we're all just masochistic sickos for playing along with all these pesky recommendations. Or pathetically desperate to be perfect moms. She does admit to rationalizing (albeit through the babydaddy).

Fact is that bottle-feeding by choice is not all that disturbing or rebellious. Yes, the more educated you are, the more likely you are to breastfeed, so this Yalie might feel like an anomaly. But most of America still bottlefeeds, using her exact reasoning: breastfeeding, besides being miraculously beneficial, possibly enjoyable, and aggressively encouraged, is also a serious pain in the ass.

We give her props for doing what she wants, and not being afraid to shout it. But we're always a little wary of pregnant proclamations...wonder if she'll feel the same way in 6 months??

Posted by thenewmoms at 9:57 PM | Comments (0)